Meeting Benjamin 2: In Words

Thursday, December 12

The day of our second meeting with Benjamin and his Foster Mother, we actually had our meeting with Dr. Kim (agency Director) and then lunch in the cafeteria with 5 other families.  Dr. Kim was very apologetic about the long waits we have all incurred to bring our children home due to the new special law on adoption. She talked about the Korean culture and included a bit of history. We also watched a short video about Eastern Social Welfare Society and the variety of services they provide the community. Lunch was a yummy variety of foods including bi bim bap, dumplings, sweet and sour pork, potato soup, and donut balls for dessert, YUM!  As a side note, Dunkin Donuts (and coffee shops in general) are everywhere here : ) 

Following lunch we had about 45 minutes before the main event so we went down to the Eastern Cafe and Fred and a latte while we checked some emails.  

At about 1:00 we went into the lobby and started stalking the windows and door.  It had started to snow and was beautiful.  About 1:20 Fred spotted Benjamin all bundled up and piggy back riding on his Foster Mother. They approached the door, Fred went out to hold it as they brushed off the snow and entered.  Still very cautious and shy he looked at us with an unsure and kind of sad glare while we waved and said hello. Our Social Worker came out and we were all taken up on the elevator to a meeting room.  I helped Benjamin take his shoes off and once in the room he immediately wanted to take his socks of so I helped with that as well.  I'm thinking this is because many of the floors in Korea are heated. It was very thoughtful of his Foster Mother, as he had on the new outfit from the care package he got on Tuesday.  It looked very cute on him and fit well.  Underneath he of course had another layer on which was green pajamas we had sent in his November care package. So I guess pajamas come in really handy as long johns in winter time.     

For this meeting his Foster Mother and Social Worker sat over to the side on a couch and chatted while we were on the floor with him.  Again he moved from activity to activity covering just about every toy in the room as well as anything we brought. Coloring book, truck, bubbles, balls, and goldfish crackers. Most of he time he interacted around us as we watched and smiled and laughed and encouraged. On occasion he allowed us into his play, but not for long. It seemed once he had "a taste" of us he quickly changed what he was doing. Again he was very cognizant of where his Foster Mother was and at one point moved 2 different toy kitchens across the room just to be next to her.  It was quite amusing to watch him lug them over there and we all just chuckled. 

His Foster Mother continued to encourage him to seek us out for help or play. She seems like such a wonderful person, and I know will be very missed by Benjamin when we take custody. We have not had much opportunity to talk with her in any great detail as the hour goes by fast and most of the attention is placed on Benjamin and his introduction to us. I did ask a few questions (had the Social Worker translate) as well as she offered up a few tidbits as the meeting went on. I won't say a lot about it here but I felt kinda odd and uncomfortable at times as the meetings have not necessarily been what I imagined or provided any real level of detail or connected between us and the Foster Mother. But I digress.

As the hour was up, his Foster Mother had Benjamin present us each with a gift.  Of course we invited him to help us open these gifts. Fred received a letter opener, key chain, and business card holder and I received a jewelry box. Very lovely, tradition Korean pieces. We then presented Benjamin with a back pack and said this was for him to pack up some special stuff and prepare for the airplane ride.  So we're hoping he brings it back with him when we take custody. I helped him put his socks back on and Fred helped to put his boots on. Then we all rode the elevator down as he was held by his Foster Mother. Before leaving she asked him to give each of us a kiss and brought him up close to our cheeks. Both of us got a kiss (lips on the cheek), and we waved goodbye as they were out the door into the snow again and into a taxi.

That's it.  As simple as that.  Two 1-our meetings and one step closer to bringing our little guy home.  We are guessing it's definitely going to be a tough goodbye for him and a rough start to our family of three. So thankful that he has attachment to his Foster Family and know that will help in the long run as he works to attach to us. So thankful for the work his Foster Mother has done in preparing him, showing our pictures, talking about us, and using his American name. So thankful we now have a few weeks to process all of this and prepare ourselves for the cute little bomb that's going to be dropped in or laps.

As with all the other parts of this journey I will say this step has much to be desired and many ways to improve upon the process of introductions, structure of meetings, and facilitation of communication including transfer of knowledge. But it is what it is and we've me our son!!!