Bring on 2012...Bring on a Referral

Oh I have never been so happy to enter a new year...bring on 2012 because I know great things are to come!  Referrals have been so slow the last few months, and we can only hope that they will pick up come January when new exit permits are granted and families start to travel again.  These are families who have been waiting since fall 2010 to go and pick up their little ones.  I had the pleasure this week of finally meeting up with 2 other moms from our agency both at different points in the adoption process.  One has her little one home and the other is waiting to travel in early 2012....she's one of those who received a referral in fall 2010.  This was totally what I needed right now to get me all pumped up for our referral and start preparing for what is to come.  So after this lunch date, I decided to have everything ready on January 1, 2012 to accept our referral.

I spent yesterday gathering up 10 pictures of our house.  These pictures are given to our agency to share with Eastern Social Welfare Society (ESWS) when we accept our referral.  As you can see, these pictures had to be mounted on paper with our family name and a description of who is in them.  Tried to hit the highlights with Grandma, Grandpa, Grammy, Pops, Aunts, Uncles, Nieces, Nephews, front of house, back of house, and a few of our rooms.  We were informed to not have any pets visible.  Families in S. Korea tend not to have pets, so better just to leave them out.  I do wish we could have included Ollie in there so our little one could have met him.  Along with these pictures we also need to have a few other pieces of paperwork on job status and finances which are all ready to go as well.  With this project complete, we're all ready to say YES and welcome a little one into our family when the time comes.

So today I moved on to preparing our first care package to our little one.  The families (moms) at our agency have taken it upon themselves to set up an online group to stay in touch, share ideas and pictures, provide support, and post who is traveling when.  Another one of those things I just learned about recently and am so excited to connect with them, it makes it so real!  As families travel, if you can get them a ONE GALLON Ziploc of stuff, they will take it with them and leave it with ESWS who in turn holds it until your little ones next monthly check up.  ONLY ONE GALLON...OMG!  Really hoping we can connect with a few families along the way and send a few care packages during our wait.  I'm sure there will be so much we want to share.

Okay so this first care package thing may seem a little odd as we don't even have a little one to shop for yet meaning no gender or sizes.  Well yes that is a challenge, but I used my best guess as to when we might get a referral (March) and when this care package might arrive (April) and what age our little one might be (8-9 mo) and the gender (boy).  That's a lot of guessing, but does make the heart feel good to think about it.  This was my first time shopping for a little one of my own, and man I didn't want to mess it up.  It was more difficult than I thought because I wanted everything to be just right...the right first outfit, right first toy, right first blanket, right first book and all in ONE GALLON!  I hit up all the hot spots I could think of - Kohls, Target, Macy's, Bergner's, Gap, and Gymboree - and here are the results...

• Small blanket square with English letters and numbers
• J & J lavender baby wash & lotion
• Burt's Bees diaper cream
• 12 mo long sleeve shirt (can surely grow into this)
• 12 mo shorts romper (seemed so small didn't want to go any smaller)
• Socks
• Bib
• Flash drive (ask the family to save pics for us)
• Bath toys 
• Beautiful little bird necklace (small gift for foster mom)

I was pleasantly surprised after I placed everything in our ONE GALLON Ziploc, we still have room to spare.  Hmm, may need to pick up a few teeny tiny items to fill the gaps.  There will be no space left behind.

We do have 2 more planned items to add.  First, we went online and created a picture board book of us and family which we titled "We Love You So Much."  Second, we hope to work with one of the Korean students at the U of I to translate a letter to the foster mom explaining all of the items we packed and thanking her for the love and care she is providing to out little one while we're not there.  This little ONE GALLON package will wait anxiously for it's long trip to S. Korea to meet up soon with our little package.

Happy New Year...Here's To A Fantastic 2012

Children reinvent your world for you.

This Little Piggy

I couldn't wait and now can't resist sharing my favorite Christmas gift we gave this year. My mom had requested a piggy bank to collect all of her change and share it with her new grandchild. So I visited our local paint your own pottery store and created this little piggy... 

 

 


The only wealth which you will keep forever is the wealth you have given away. - M. Aurelius

Christmas Eve

Got up this morning at 5:00 to have breakfast with Fred before he works both Christmas Eve and Day.  Hopefully this is one of the last times he'll volunteer to do this.  Now I'm spending the morning preparing to travel up North to share time with family.  I've also recently joined an adoption forum that has a strong Korean adoption following from the midwest (Illinois in particular).  So I took a few minutes this morning to do some reading of blogs by fellow families that traveled through the adoption experience and have their little ones at home with them for the holidays.  So looking forward to this and the new family holiday traditions that will come!  


The first tradition has started with the annual Christmas ornament from Grandma (and Grandpa).  She has decided to collect train ornaments for our little one (since we're still banking 99% it will be a little guy). This first train is so super cute, and I can't wait to hang it on our tree!  

Happy Holidays to our little one and all of our family & friends.
Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas. - P. Bracken

Welcome to the Holidays

What a great Thanksgiving we had with family...catching up, sharing meals, and squeezing in little bit of shopping. Yet I can only think that when we started the adoption process back in January we'd be sharing a picture of our little one during the holidays. No such picture to share at Thanksgiving, and I'm confident that we will not be holding a picture at Christmas. This will be our year of anticipation and fantasy thinking about who our little one is...name, age, gender, size, hair, eyes, smile, etc.

We are in high hopes that February will be our magic month. One of the other couples we met from our agency that started in October 2010 is currently #1 on the list. I am so so sooo excited for them! However, they've been #1 for a month now so it leads me to believe there were no referrals in October. If we keep up the current pace we're looking at at least 13 months to referral which leads me to February as the earliest.

So you ask what number we are? Well to be honest, I have not asked because I don't want to know and be disappointed. I will wait until after the first of the year to ask and hopefully be pleasantly surprised being up from #7 in October. Sooo looking forward to the next holiday season being one of preparation and glowing about our soon to be with us little one...hands, toes, belly button, bum, and all!
Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way. ~Native American Saying

the 4th Quarter Stretch

Back in January when we started the process of adoption, we made it through the first quarter by taking our fantabulous dive trip to Thailand and then sharing the news with family. At that point it really felt like it would be forever to get so close to our little one. Second quarter was filled with more sharing of news amongst friends, getting our camper out of storage, and kicking off camping season. Nothing like Memorial Day weekend at Mill Creek with a little strawberry lemonade and a taco bar buffet. Then came the third quarter with family cookouts, local festival shopping, loss and addition of a new puppy as well as more camping. We again visited Mill Creek to spend Labor Day camping with friends, deep frying anything we could find (Oreos!!), and sharing a pasta bar. 


Well we're now into the fourth quarter and camping season is officially over. So sad, but we did have a great trip over to Indiana where we enjoyed the fall colors and a walk around the Covered Bridge Festivals. However, I would not say the fair style food at these events was so good. I much more enjoyed my turkey chili and cornbread back at the camp site for dinner. While sitting around the fire that last evening, I told Fred, "just think next year when we camp, we'l be parents!" Well not with our child in tow, but in spirit. Now to make it through the rest of the fourth quarter...holidays and hopefully a referral. We've been so lucky this year in keeping busy, and it's flown by so fast thanks to all of our family, friends, and work.
"The future is sending back good wishes and waiting arms."

Slow & Steady

Seems we are still #6 referral ready on the list (our unofficial number), yet we are officially #7. So we've made a little progress since July. Referrals are definitely slow, but at least they're still coming. The South Korea government & adoption program continue to throw surprises at expectant families including new legislation to limit the number of international adoptions, limiting the number of exit permits per year, and now agencies have to increase fees to cover the cost of caring for children longer while in foster care. That'll hit the pocket book were it hurts.

Well, we'll continue to save our pennies and wait in anticipation. Here's hoping December or January will be our month! Wow, as I think about it that's really not that far away especially with all of the holidays coming up. So glad we'll continue to be busy busy busy...this year has really flown by.

Couldn't resist going online to do a little shopping. Found this wonderfully crafted pendant and necklace on Etsy which reads "mom" or "omma" in Korean. I can't wait for this to arrive so I can hide it away till we receive a referral, and then wear it as a reminder during our next long wait.

"Looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them."

Final Fingerprints

Our last item to mark off our adoption preparation checklist was a visit to the Department of Homeland Security in Indy to have our fingerprints taken...again.  We were in and out in about 10 minutes including pre-paperwork and post service survey.  They even took us 45 minutes prior to our appointment.  Yeah!!!  Painless, but quite the drive for something so simple.

"Once someone touches your heart, the fingerprints will last forever."

Puppy Love & Lessons

Sadly we had to make the tough choice to let Sidney (our first baby girl and best girlfriend) rest in peace on Friday, August 12. She was such a pleasure to raise, and we truly enjoyed her company the last 12.5 years. We've learned so much from her about tending to others needs, creating a safe home environment, developing routines & schedules, and unconditional love. She brought out the best in Fred and I as we found that each of us provided different qualities in our relationship with her...me the snuggler and lover and Fred the rough houser and sucker for the puppy eyes....he never could say no to her!


Having Sidney as part of our lives has provided us the opportunity to become the best parents possible, and I can't wait to have the movement and noise back in our house. I know the next phase of our married life will be stronger because of her. Looking forward to providing a loving, safe, and fun home for our son or daughter.


We knew the day was coming that we'd have to let Sidney go, and that she would never meet the little one...but how wonderful would that have been to have everyone in the same house at the same time : ) 
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."

A Work in Progress

Surprisingly the US government is moving quicker than we had anticipated on processing our paperwork.  Guess it works to anticipate the longest time possible, and then find enjoyment when it happens faster.   Just received notice yesterday of our final finger printing appointment with the Department of Homeland Security...only 16 days after dropping the paperwork in the mail.  August 25 is the magic date that we will be traveling to Indy to leave our personal marks.  This is the final step in our referral process that we have a hand in before all we have to do is wait for our little one to find us.  On with more summer cookouts, camping, and work to keep us occupied in the meantime.  Fingers crossed for a referral yet in 2011!
"The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving."

Back to the Beginning

So we started down this journey over 7 months ago, and I have kept personal reflections for myself as well as sent out a few emails updating family and friends.  I have thought about starting a blog to capture and share our story not only for others, but for us to share with our child one day as well.  A few of my friends have inspired me to do so after following theirs over the last few months....seems easy enough!  Now that we are well on our way and in the "waiting game," it's a great time to start!  Sorry for such a long first post, but in thinking about how to start this blog I felt it necessary to bring it back to the beginning.  

March 27, 2011

3 Month Update Email

We are so excited to have been able to share our news of adoption with family and close friends, that would be all of you in this email : )  We look forward to having you along for our journey and wanted to update you on our progress to date since we have not had a lot of time to chat in detail with everyone or answer all questions...

After consideration, we chose to adopt from South Korea for a number of reasons including (1) the stability of the program, (2) quality of information provided in the referral including medical and family history, (3) placement of babies into foster families, and (4) the connection our family already has with S Korea through our nephew Bryan.  We were lucky enough to find an agency right here in Champaign that works with S Korea.  We handed in our adoption application back in January with Lifelink which is connected with Lutheran Child and Family Services of IL.

Fun Fact: S Korea typically places more boys than girls for international adoption.  Girls are usually scooped up through domestic adoptions.  We left our options open but anticipate adding a son to our family.  

We were told in January it was approximately 8-10 months till we would receive a referral for a child and then another 8-10 months before we would travel to pick up our child. These are the best estimates based on number of referrals that came through last year and how long families are currently waiting to travel. However, things can always change....flexibility seems to be the name of the game.  We anticipate the child will be about 5-8 months old upon referral and then 13 -18 months old at travel.

Fun Fact: Over the last 5-7 years, S Korea has been building/pushing their domestic adoption program.  Therefore, children must remain eligible for domestic adoption only during the first 5 months.... great for their families.

Over the last 3 months, Fred and I have filled out and collected paperwork, got finger printed, wrote a self-study, as well as completed a joint interview, individual interviews, and just last Friday a home visit/interview.  Additionally we've completed both required in person parent education and a number of online courses.  Piece of cake!

Now our first wait.....Our social worker will take all of our paperwork, interview notes, finger prints, etc and write a 12 page report on us as well help us apply for foster care status through DCFS.  Because the adoption of our child will not take place till 6 months after being home, we will initially be foster parents to our child.  We are in hopes that this final report will be done by early May...which means we're referral ready through our agency!!!!!!  We then mail the final report along with our proof of citizenship to US Citizenship & Immigration Services to start the process before the child arrives for the processing of orphan petition. 

Fun Fact: S Korea has become more accepting of single parents/moms so the number of children placed for adoption has declined....great for the kids.

We anticipate receiving a call from our social worker this fall (Aug-Nov) with the news of a referral.  We will then have 48 hours to review all information, share with a doctor, and ask questions before needing to make our decision.  Lifelink receives referrals from a S Korean agency and then just goes down the list and makes a referral to the next family that is ready.  We were excited to learn that 3 referral just came through last week!  

When it is time to travel, which means our child received a Visa from S Korea, we are asked to come within 2 weeks....very quick turn around time.  Fred and I both plan to go to Korea, but we can talk more about this later.  Thank you all for your excitement and support.  Look for our next update in May once we know more about our status.

May 25, 2011

5 Month Update Email 

Hope everyone's summer is shaping up to be a full and fun one.  We are looking forward to starting the camping season this weekend!

On the adoption front, not a lot of work on our end the last couple of months unless you count waiting!!!  In April we completed our individual interviews and home visit with our Social Worker.  Following that, it was out of our hands and the first waiting period began for our home study to be written and approved.  

We received word earlier this week that our Social Worker has completed her write up of our home study and has passed it along to her supervisor for review.  Yeah...some progress!  Our home study will then be sent off to DCFS for review and a letter of approval from the DCFSLifelinks.  Nothing like waiting on a State agency with 1 person reviewing paperwork to get back to you in a timely fashion.        

Then on to our second waiting period for a referral which may be close to 5 months or more.... good thing for camping and summer cookouts with family & friends.    

July 8, 2011

7 Month Update Email

It's official...we've been cleared...we are found suitable by the State of Illinois to be foster parents.  Wow didn't see that one coming!

In the meantime, we still have to get a little more paperwork in with the US Department of Homeland Security to start the process for immigration.  This includes a second set of fingerprints with the government....to think our fingerprint may have changed since the first set we had done back in February?  We'll then finish the immigration paperwork following acceptance of a child.  The long wait and countdown to travel will then begin.

Recently we've found out that wait times for travel have increased as exit permits run out for the year.  In short, each Korean agency is only allotted so many exit permits per year, and the number of children waiting to travel outweighs what's available.  So they must wait till the next year and next batch of permits.  Starting this process, we were in high hopes that it would be 8-10 months following acceptance of a child that we would travel.  However, if history repeats itself it may be closer to 12-14 months.  Everything is dependent on South Korea and can speed up or slow down in the snap of a finger. 

Special delivery may be coming in 2013...time will only tell.

"Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet"