Court Dates, Exit Permits and Birth Mothers...Oh My!

So here's the 10 cent update on the new process.

2012 Exit Permits & Bringing Kiddos Home
A number of families had court dates in June. These were families with Exit Permits from last year that were carried over and have been waiting FOREVER!  Some have chosen to stay in Korea while the process runs it course including the wait for final court ruling and then the child's Visa interview with the US Embassy.  In all they will be in country about 5 weeks.  Others have chosen to do 2 trips.  The first trip was about 7-8 days including their court appearance. They are now home waiting out the 14 day wait period for final ruling.  They will then travel back in July if no issues arise, receive custody of their child, complete the Visa interview and then travel home all in about 5 days.

2013 Exit Permits in Process
May & June also brought about the first batch of Exit Permit submissions for 2013.  The families in this batch spanned from mid-Dec 2011 through March 22, 2012 referrals. This last week was 5 weeks from the first submits and we've started to hear of approvals...FINALLY!!!  Of the families that are in the online groups I'm part of, 9 of 23 were approved AND their childs' packets submitted to the court.  Here's hoping the rest of the families see approval and court submissions this coming week!!  We weren't so sure how long a lag time between Exit Permit approval and submission to court as our agencies said it could be about a week. Now we pray that judges set court date immediately as packets hit their desk (and not sit on them)...maybe even for July?!?!

We've also heard a few more families speak up that they've been notified by their agency that their files were requested by Eastern Social Welfare Services (Korean adoption agency).  SUPER EXCITING!  So far these are the remaining families with referrals from March 2012. Again here's hoping they ask for more families into maybe let's say April and May : )   So files requested means they are starting to prepare the next set of families and children to have Exit Permits submitted.  During the next few weeks their paperwork will be translated and Birth Mothers sought out.

Birth Mothers
So this brings us to the Birth Mother and her rights throughout the process. Though it has always been the right of the Birth Mother to come back at any time to choose to parent, it was fairly uncommon for a variety of reasons. However, this new process strengthens her rights and proactively seeks her out for re-relinquishment and/or she may choose to parent. Prior to Exit Permit being submitted, Eastern Social Welfare Services searches her out and if found, sets up a meeting so she can review her options and make this choice.

We've heard a small handful of cases where the Birth Mother has chosen to parent. So yes it's happening. Again this usually occurs even before the Exit Permit is submitted.  However, we've also recently heard of a Birth Mother contemplating parenting once the family had already been to court and met their child. Holy crap!! I don't even know what to say about this, but it sucks to know you could be placed in that situation! And it could be any one of us....ahhh! 

It also makes me wonder why they are even asking Birth Mothers to sign a re-relinquishment form before Exit Permit submission when they can still come back at any point up through the 14 day wait period after court. It seems more appropriate that this search and meeting with the Birth Mother is just the opportunity to remind her of her options and allow her to mull it over while we continue through the steps. In my mind,  her true re-relinquishment only happens after the 14 day wait period and judge gives final ruling on the case in favor of the adoption. So seriously let's call it what it is and stop the smoke and mirrors.

Sadly for us, at ever turn of this final process adoptive parents are now haunted by the notion that their whole journey could end in the blink of an eye. Rather than what should be a joyous celebration that you're finally to the last few steps to meet your child. We hope that Benjamin will find his way home to us, and we will remain cautiously optimistic that our day is coming soon. But please know that his Birth Mother and her choices weigh heavily on our mind especially as we get that much closer to him.

Snuggle Puppy

This months book buy was chosen because we recently added a second pup to the mix. So what better to do then add to Benjamin's  library a book about puppy love. Snuggle Puppy is in honor of our two pups : ). Here's hoping there will be lots of love between them and Benjamin!!

Care Package #18

Our agency is once again sending over care packages since there are no traveling families (booo). Had to actually follow the rules this time and stick to a one gallon bag, no food, no items for Foster Family, and had to be 3 inches or less thickness....give me a break!?!  But I got my tape measure out and squished the contents in like a puzzle until it was right on the money. 

Depending on the DHL service delivery, it seems our little guy may be enjoying 2 packages in July : ) 

• 2 shirts
• 2 shorts
• Stuffed turtle
• Animal  puzzle (2 shown, but only 1 fit)
• Leap Frog Learn & Play Groove Music Player
• Batteries
• Music Roller (blow up toy)

Such cute detail on these shorts.

Care Package #17

Thanks to one of my adoption mommy gal pals, we had the opportunity to send a care package over with a family that was taking a trip back to Korea. Part of their trip includes a visit with their children's Foster Parents at our agency.  So they had a bit of room in a suitcase to squeeze a few one gallon baggies in for a handful of us waiting families.  Yippee!!!  

A couple of new outfits from Grandma and Grandpa as well I threw in one of the outfits we had in his dresser, hoping he's be with us this summer. We have quite a few more here waiting for him and will see if they come in handy next summer.  Well that is if he's still in 24 mo / 2T....which he may well be if he's still hanging out in 12 mo / 18 mo.  I've also been dying to send some Legos over and found the perfect set that included vehicles.  I know he is going to love these!!!  As you can see, I had a bit of fun putting a few together together so he knew what they are.

• 3 shirts
• 3 shorts
• Legos and mesh storage bag
• Cars washcloth
• Cookies
• Pictures
• Spatula and brushes
• Wisk

21 Month Update

June is in full swing and Monday we received an update and new pictures. Oh my goodness is Benjamin cuter than ever!!!  Each month I don't think it's possible to beat the last, but he continues to amaze me with his beautiful face and expressions : )  It was such a surprise to see him wearing an Illini shirt we sent over last October (size 18 mo) and if those are navy shorts we sent, then those would have been from last July (size 12 mo).  But then again the Foster Mother may have other shorts from elsewhere in the rotation.  It means so much to me to see him in our clothes and digging into our care packages.  We have been so fortunate that his Foster Mother is so thoughtful a deliberate in her choice of clothes for his appointments.  And that the agency Social Worker continually takes such wonderful pics each month (because there is no guarantee that families get pics each month).

June 10, 2013
Height: 33.07 inchs
Weight: 24.47 lbs

Keep the Good Stuff Coming

Finally Court! Finally Batch 1! and a Batch 2?!?!

COURT

The first families started to appear in court on May 31 and others continue to have dates during June. Again these are roll over families from 2012 Exit Permits but still it's progress and movement in the right direction. Following court appearance there is still a 14 wait period and some final US Embassy stuff on the child's Visa. So families are thinking approx 4 week trip or 2 short trips. From what i've heard, court has been about 10 minutes per family and questions being asked vary by judge and by family. Here are a few samplings...

> Why have you chosen to adopt from Korea?

> Do you know anyone who has adopted from Korea?

> Have you met your child?

> After meeting him what is your experience and do you still want to proceed with the adoption?

> How long have you been waiting?

> What do your children think about having a sibling of another race?

> What do you do for a living?

> Will you be sure he becomes a US citizen?

Seems we'll have to brush up on our home study a bit so we're sure to answer similarly to anything that's contained in there for consistency sake.  Instead of "Well um Korea and its quota system and um the new special law on adoption with the new family court and well the new judges such as yourself have slowed things down to a screeching halt for the last 7-8 months. Yeah that's why I've been waiting so long."  Seriously do they really want to know the answer to this question because we're all just going to politely answer and be on our way.  But such as it is, very nice to see they have an interest in our families and want to learn about where these children are being paced. 

BATCH 1

May also brought about the first submission of Exit Permits for the 2013 quota. Now we're talking!!!!! Instead of a full batch of families being handed into the Ministry all at once it seems smaller bunches are being prepared and packets being submitted each week. (Still waiting to hear of submissions for this week...hoping maybe tomorrow). Those in this first batch being submitted over the last few weeks cover mid Dec 2011- Mar 3, 2012 families. Of this, Lifelink has had 2 of their 4 families submitted so far.

BATCH 2

There is still a handful of families yet to be submitted from batch 1, but just today we heard word from another family with a different US agency that she is being prepared as part of a batch 2...that is great news to hear!!!  What?!? They're already thinking about the next batch of dates to cover??  I figured they'd wait until all batch 1 was complete take a break and then start up again as the next round of court dates were being set. So super excited to hear they are going to keep things rolling.  Though we have no official word when a batch 2 would start to be submitted or what date range it will cover, I'm really hoping it will run March-May so we'll be part of it : ). Only time and continued patience will tell. 

So when it is our turn this is what the process will look like:

Birth Mother contacted for confirmation of relinquishment (or may decide to parent) > Exit Permit and court packets prepared > Exit Permit submission to Ministry > Exit Permit approved > Paper work submitted to family court > Judge reviews paperwork and sets a court date > Travel to Korea and meet Benjamin a few days before court > Appear in court > 14 day wait period for court decision/approval to be finalized > Benjamin's Visa physical and interview > Visa given > Travel home