So here's the 10 cent update on the new process.
2012 Exit Permits & Bringing Kiddos Home
A number of families had court dates in June. These were families with Exit Permits from last year that were carried over and have been waiting FOREVER! Some have chosen to stay in Korea while the process runs it course including the wait for final court ruling and then the child's Visa interview with the US Embassy. In all they will be in country about 5 weeks. Others have chosen to do 2 trips. The first trip was about 7-8 days including their court appearance. They are now home waiting out the 14 day wait period for final ruling. They will then travel back in July if no issues arise, receive custody of their child, complete the Visa interview and then travel home all in about 5 days.
2013 Exit Permits in Process
May & June also brought about the first batch of Exit Permit submissions for 2013. The families in this batch spanned from mid-Dec 2011 through March 22, 2012 referrals. This last week was 5 weeks from the first submits and we've started to hear of approvals...FINALLY!!! Of the families that are in the online groups I'm part of, 9 of 23 were approved AND their childs' packets submitted to the court. Here's hoping the rest of the families see approval and court submissions this coming week!! We weren't so sure how long a lag time between Exit Permit approval and submission to court as our agencies said it could be about a week. Now we pray that judges set court date immediately as packets hit their desk (and not sit on them)...maybe even for July?!?!
We've also heard a few more families speak up that they've been notified by their agency that their files were requested by Eastern Social Welfare Services (Korean adoption agency). SUPER EXCITING! So far these are the remaining families with referrals from March 2012. Again here's hoping they ask for more families into maybe let's say April and May : ) So files requested means they are starting to prepare the next set of families and children to have Exit Permits submitted. During the next few weeks their paperwork will be translated and Birth Mothers sought out.
Birth Mothers
So this brings us to the Birth Mother and her rights throughout the process. Though it has always been the right of the Birth Mother to come back at any time to choose to parent, it was fairly uncommon for a variety of reasons. However, this new process strengthens her rights and proactively seeks her out for re-relinquishment and/or she may choose to parent. Prior to Exit Permit being submitted, Eastern Social Welfare Services searches her out and if found, sets up a meeting so she can review her options and make this choice.
We've heard a small handful of cases where the Birth Mother has chosen to parent. So yes it's happening. Again this usually occurs even before the Exit Permit is submitted. However, we've also recently heard of a Birth Mother contemplating parenting once the family had already been to court and met their child. Holy crap!! I don't even know what to say about this, but it sucks to know you could be placed in that situation! And it could be any one of us....ahhh!
It also makes me wonder why they are even asking Birth Mothers to sign a re-relinquishment form before Exit Permit submission when they can still come back at any point up through the 14 day wait period after court. It seems more appropriate that this search and meeting with the Birth Mother is just the opportunity to remind her of her options and allow her to mull it over while we continue through the steps. In my mind, her true re-relinquishment only happens after the 14 day wait period and judge gives final ruling on the case in favor of the adoption. So seriously let's call it what it is and stop the smoke and mirrors.
Sadly for us, at ever turn of this final process adoptive parents are now haunted by the notion that their whole journey could end in the blink of an eye. Rather than what should be a joyous celebration that you're finally to the last few steps to meet your child. We hope that Benjamin will find his way home to us, and we will remain cautiously optimistic that our day is coming soon. But please know that his Birth Mother and her choices weigh heavily on our mind especially as we get that much closer to him.
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