Thursday, March 28, 2013
Have EP's Started?!?
So much craziness going on with the adoption process recently. The new law that was put in place last Aug has been boggling the minds of the Korean court system who back in Feb decided we needed to travel to Korea and appear in court...say what?!? That would tack on 2-3 weeks to our trip and a hefty amount to our budget. But we'd make it work. Come March, this proposed requirement has been overturned. So we're back to a one week trip (probably).
The other big change that came to light in Feb is that birthmothers were going to be sought out to relinquish their parental rights again....hello, can you repeat that!?! So we still don't know that our little guy will be ours and will wait until it's our turn. His birthmother will be asked to make the same tough decision twice in her life and who knows the answer may be different this time around.
During these past few months nothing much has happened in the way of movement on submitting kiddos for exit : ( BUT alas today, finally we hear news from families that were matched back in Dec 2011 and Jan 2012... they've received notification that their paperwork is being prepared. They soon should be submitted for their exit permit and then the anticipated court review and approval. This whole process could take up to 3 months to complete. Finally they'll get to travel.
So yeah for MOVEMENT. Yeah for a niblet of PROGRESS. And yeah for the LIGHT at the end of the tunnel. Fred and I will continue to sit anxiously awaiting our turn. However, it's really any ones guess when they'll get to May 2012 matched families. But we'll be ready!
Sunday, March 17, 2013
18 Month Update
Excited to receive updated pictures and measurements this month again!! We were told it's always hit or miss but his Social Worker over at Eastern has been fabulous and very punctual. He's even wearing a whole bunch of stuff we've sent over in care packages...thank you Foster Mom : ) If you look close, you can spot the cute little penguin socks we bought last October on our camping trip to Nashville, IN and mailed over as his January package.
March 11, 2013
Weight: 24.5 lbs
Height: 31.97 inches
Teeth: 8 top & 8 bottom
March 11, 2013
Weight: 24.5 lbs
Height: 31.97 inches
Teeth: 8 top & 8 bottom
Monday, March 11, 2013
Passing the Time With the Gals
Had a great weekend at an adoption conference in the Chicago area hosted by Chicago Area Families for Adoption. Much of what was shared was a good refresher on a number of books I've read over the last couple of years. I was also able to drop off Benjamin's care package with our agency for delivery to S Korea at the end of the month. And the highlight of the trip was meeting up with a few of my mommy gal pals to enjoy some chit chat, a little lunch, and even squeeze in a quick photo op.
A special thanks goes out to my crazy and funny Wisconsin pal Tara (and her family) for the wonderful gifts she brought for our little guy. All will get plenty of use when Benjamin is home.
A special thanks goes out to my crazy and funny Wisconsin pal Tara (and her family) for the wonderful gifts she brought for our little guy. All will get plenty of use when Benjamin is home.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Let's Talk the New Korean Adoption Law
It's been an interesting couple of weeks on the adoption front. I shared a while back that in August 2012, South Korea put into place a new adoption law. However, at that time no one could really tell us exactly what that entailed. Seems it was written by the government and then passed onto the new family court to implement...they've actually known this was coming and supposedly working on it since last January (2012)...haha that's a joke. In August when the law actually took effect, we were given the indication that most of the law related to the domestic adoption process and there would probably just be minor changes to the international process. I think also, we all just assumed they'd be ready to roll with any new processes or requirements as of January 2013...so not the case!
Okay so long story short, two weeks ago the family court finally released proposed changes that we've since learned about from our agency. It seems the family court would like to see the international cases work the same as the domestic cases, so that'll mean we're up against some tuff new changes to our journey to bring our little guy home. These are not set in stone yet and the information I present here is a compilation of details I've heard from our agency as well as from other mothers who are with other US agencies.
1. As of August 2012 mothers must now wait 7 days after giving birth to sign a relinquishment form. Therefore, the family court would like to go back at minimum to all of the birth mothers of children born prior to this date to speak with the mother. The family court will ask the birth mother if she indeed wishes to relinquish or if she so chooses, take her child back.
(Now understand that we've known all along that the birth mother can take her child back at any time during this process up until we're on the plane. However, this seemed to be a far reach up until now when they'll be searched out and given the opportunity to relive their decision as well as extended a"do over." I feel for her having to make this decision twice and for the time end energy it's going to take to find birth mothers who often times do not wish to be found. If she so chooses to parent her child, I hope she has the support system in place to provide for a positive upbringing for her child. And YES, I would be devastated if this means loosing Benjamin but know what is best has been chosen for him by his birth mother. )
2. The court would like adoptive families to appear in court.
3. The court system requires a 14 day hold period before an approval can be given for the child to be placed with the adoptive family. Therefore, this will entail either a longer stay in South Korea (3-4 weeks) or having to make two trips.
None of these have been written as final requirements yet, but as I can only image they're 99% there. I was so glad to hear the Korean adoption agencies had all joined together and requested a meeting with the family court to discuss the many excessive demands these new requirements would impose on adoptive families as well as others involved in the process including birth mothers and children. This meeting was scheduled for last week but had to be postponed indefinitely. Ho hum : (
In the meantime, agencies have asked families to share letters about how the #3 item (extended travel/multiple trips) would impact/burden our families. Our letter had to be under 350 words, not mention "our child" or any agencies, and share how we feel about adopting from Korea in a positive way. Wow, this really puts you in a corner and so sad that it does not allow us to address #1 or #2. But in the end I guess I'll take what I can get and wrote a letter in honor of our little guy. I do hope the Korean adoption agencies get the opportunity to meet with the court and share our letters and their concerns. I hope the family court has some compassion, open mindedness, and clarity if they take advantage of the opportunity to meet with the true experts, the Korean adoption agencies.
Okay so long story short, two weeks ago the family court finally released proposed changes that we've since learned about from our agency. It seems the family court would like to see the international cases work the same as the domestic cases, so that'll mean we're up against some tuff new changes to our journey to bring our little guy home. These are not set in stone yet and the information I present here is a compilation of details I've heard from our agency as well as from other mothers who are with other US agencies.
1. As of August 2012 mothers must now wait 7 days after giving birth to sign a relinquishment form. Therefore, the family court would like to go back at minimum to all of the birth mothers of children born prior to this date to speak with the mother. The family court will ask the birth mother if she indeed wishes to relinquish or if she so chooses, take her child back.
(Now understand that we've known all along that the birth mother can take her child back at any time during this process up until we're on the plane. However, this seemed to be a far reach up until now when they'll be searched out and given the opportunity to relive their decision as well as extended a"do over." I feel for her having to make this decision twice and for the time end energy it's going to take to find birth mothers who often times do not wish to be found. If she so chooses to parent her child, I hope she has the support system in place to provide for a positive upbringing for her child. And YES, I would be devastated if this means loosing Benjamin but know what is best has been chosen for him by his birth mother. )
2. The court would like adoptive families to appear in court.
3. The court system requires a 14 day hold period before an approval can be given for the child to be placed with the adoptive family. Therefore, this will entail either a longer stay in South Korea (3-4 weeks) or having to make two trips.
None of these have been written as final requirements yet, but as I can only image they're 99% there. I was so glad to hear the Korean adoption agencies had all joined together and requested a meeting with the family court to discuss the many excessive demands these new requirements would impose on adoptive families as well as others involved in the process including birth mothers and children. This meeting was scheduled for last week but had to be postponed indefinitely. Ho hum : (
In the meantime, agencies have asked families to share letters about how the #3 item (extended travel/multiple trips) would impact/burden our families. Our letter had to be under 350 words, not mention "our child" or any agencies, and share how we feel about adopting from Korea in a positive way. Wow, this really puts you in a corner and so sad that it does not allow us to address #1 or #2. But in the end I guess I'll take what I can get and wrote a letter in honor of our little guy. I do hope the Korean adoption agencies get the opportunity to meet with the court and share our letters and their concerns. I hope the family court has some compassion, open mindedness, and clarity if they take advantage of the opportunity to meet with the true experts, the Korean adoption agencies.
Right now I feel no closer to picking up our little guy than we were on May 9, 2012 when we received his referral. We are in a waiting game to see how the first families move through this process in April....April!!! It is so sad to think that no one has travelled this year and that these first few families are still clean up from November/December 2010 referrals...this is just crazy! I pray that these first cases give some much needed perspective and that subsequent cases are submitted quickly there after. Let's just get this show on the road and Benjamin home yet in 2013 : )
Saturday, March 9, 2013
We Belong Together and Other Adoption Stories
Today Benjamin turned 18 months old, and I just happen to be at a conference on adoption. I had wondered when and where I could grab his monthly book buy?? Well low and behold they had a book store set up!! So not just 1, but found 4 great books that tell a story of adoption. Each seems to be at a slightly different reading level, so I snagged them all to add to our library : )
Friday, March 8, 2013
Care Package #14
We were running a little low on care package items so did a little shopping with my parents this last weekend to stock up for a few months. Though I did have a few items waiting around for their turn to make the big trip over to Korea...like this cute overalls outfit and reusable shopping bag.
- Swim top and shorts
- Bib overalls
- Long sleeve shirt
- 2 Plush toy trucks
- Plastic pop beads
- Shirt for big brother
- Floral window gel gems
- Floral reusable grocery bag
- Lip gloss
- Candy bars
- Photo album didn't make it, so substituted single picture which I embellished with some stickers
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