Meeting Benjamin: In Words

Tuesday, December 10

Had just a bit of jet lag this morning, waking up around 4:00 am.  So we had plenty of time to prepare and prep for our meeting at Eastern. 

Foster Family & Social Worker Gifts

Children's birthday gift donation

Out the door around 8:05 am and arrived at Eastern about 10-15 minutes later....way early as they weren't even open yet. So we wandered around looking for this Dunkin Donuts we heard was next door with no luck for a few minutes and then found it on the corner at the end of the block.  Jackpot to get us out of the cold, some warm caramel hot chocolate for me and a latte for Fred.  Hung out there until about 9:10 am and then headed back to Eastern to sit in the waiting room until 9:30am.

The waiting room was a tiny little area with 2 couches and a trunk/coffee table.  I guess I had just always imagined this was a big area where families and children congregated.  But not so much as it was pretty small and quiet when we got there...only us. After about 5 minutes of hanging out and Fred looking at the DMZ tour pamphlet, I looked up at the window and started saying "there she is, there she is" my heart was racing.  It was Benjamin's Foster Mother and as she entered the small breezeway we saw him all bundled up in his winter coat!!!  As they stood there in the breezeway, he noticed us and immediately hid behind her.  Oh ya he's a shy one as he continued to hide behind his Foster Mother as they came into the waiting area. He was not having anything to do with us, those 2 people he's seen in pictures and now they are her.  Why?  I'm sure that's what he was asking himself and surly he had an idea as to why we were there.  

His Foster Mother was so kind and walked him over by us as I sat on one couch and Fred crouched down as she tried to introduce him to us. "Mommy, Daddy" she kept saying.  "Mommy, Daddy, I love you"  she continued to say, but all he wanted to do was crawl up her arm.  So I pulled out a small sticker book I had in my pack for later and showed it to him.  He wasn't so sure but then she started to help peel stickers back and showed him he could move it to another blank page.  We sat there watching him move stickers for about 5 minutes.  A few claps from us as he completed each one and lots of smiles at least on our end.  He was very content not having any eye contact or interaction with us.

They then walked into the next room to let the Social Worker know they were here and we remained in the waiting area. I'm so glad we had this impromptu opportunity to see them before our official meeting. It gave us a glimpse as to what we'd be seeing more of and a moment to just soak in his little personality.  Also felt as if this huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders in anticipation of meeting them.

Our Social Worker came back out with them and said we had some paperwork to complete and our visit would start at 10:00 am.  As Benjamin and his Foster Mother headed upstairs and as they did, he took a few peaks back to see if we were still there. Yep we weren't going anywhere buddy!!  We took the next 30 minutes to review and sign a few papers including some Visa stuff for Benjamin.  We then gathered our stuff and headed upstairs.

As we entered the small meeting/play room Benjamin was on the floor with his Foster Mother and we proceeded to remove our shoes to join them there.  Well as you can guess he was quick to find her lap and make it known that was his Omma.  So we pulled out his December care package and Fred worked to open this with him watching in anticipation.  He found a couple of toys right on top that were of interest including a couple of wind up buses and Santa figures.  He played with these for a bit always looking to his Foster Mother for help in winding them up, never getting to far from her. We then moved onto many other activities including putting together snowmen using the gel window decals I had in the care package, checking out the toothbrush from the care package, eating M&Ms from the care package, riding a couple of toys in the room, using the Pororo phone, blowing bubbles, playing catch, eating goldfish, using the slide, and pretending to wash dishes in the kitchen.  So very busy and all the time making sure his Foster Mother was there and even pulling her into the activities. 

His Foster Mother was so amazing moving him closer to us on occasion, asking him to come to us for help (i.e. winding up toys), and she even tried to get him to share his goldfish. No luck there as Fred tried his best to charm his way into getting Benjamin to share. At one point Benjamin quickly stuffed every goldfish he had in his little bowl into his mouth/cheeks so as not to have to share. We all got a chuckle out of this. He did allow Fred to open the chocolate peppermint candy bar from the care package which was supposed to be for the Foster Mother & Father but he was very adamant as he sat on his chair and continued to ask for it to be opened. This was another funny moment as he instructed the candy to be opened at once.  After Fred opened it, Benjamin was very disappointed and would not take any from him. Well come to find out he was expecting brown chocolate candy not white...does not like white chocolate (check).  So we had to switch back to the M&Ms.

No holding him, no sitting in our laps, no high fives, no chasing around the room. We did get to be at the bottom of the slide a few times but Foster Mother was right beside us as well. He seems to be saving all of this closeness up for later after he knows we're okay people. As we ended the meeting I helped to put his shoes on and we took a picture. Fred did attempt to take him from Foster Mother but tears were just about ready to start and so she kept him and we all huddled around for the group shot.  As they left the room we blew his kisses and she asked him to come back in and give us a kiss...of which I got one but he was spent and passed on Fred. Maybe next time : )    

Our meeting lasted about an hour and 15 minutes with us sharing gifts at the end.  Almost seemed like an after-thought to the entire process but we jumped right into the visit and forgot about the gifts until the end.  Who even knows if I handed them to his Foster Mother or Social Worker with 2 hands (custom), crazy American!?! So much personality, very soft spoken, and so much love for his Foster Mother (and Foster Father form what we were told). Benjamin is absolutely amazing and I know I'm still in shock that we've actually met him. I was very surprised by my reaction or lack there of. Fred of course was Fred getting down on the floor and trying to be silly and fun. I of course was on the floor with them but more reserved and held back. I can only think this is because his Foster Mother was there to guide us through the Benjamin experience, and I didn't want to over step any bounds or do something different/wrong in front of her. I know I was just being cautious and look forward to the next meeting (Thursday) and showing a bit more of my fun side.

His Foster Mother did share that he's been called Benjamin and actually prefers this over SeungJoon. This is about the only English he knows except apple juice.  Much work ahead for us.