This post is dedicated to my mom who mentioned to me that she is sad sometimes after reading my posts. I do not wish any sadness on my readers. There have been so many emotions swirling around during this journey, but sadness is not one of them for me. So I hope everyone can share in the many emotions I've had, and push any sadness you may feel away for another day. This blog is a way to capture my feelings and memories during this the first part of our journey, yet I know it may evoke other emotions for you the reader.
Reflecting on this conversation with my mom was a great reminder that I want to savor every moment with no regrets of sadness. As well, I wish this upon all of my family and friends following our journey. How can I be sad when I know one day our phone will ring and our lives will be changed forever....bringing us the opportunity to become Umma (mom) and Appa (dad) to a little one that will be our perfect match!
Man is the only creature whose emotions are entangled with his memory. - M Holmes
It is so interesting in how you react to one's situation depending on whether they are your friend or whether they are your child. Your posts evoke a lot of feeling in me also, as I read, but not sadness.
ReplyDeleteAs a mother of a now-adult, though, I can also relate to your mother's response. The urge to deny our children any uncomfortable emotions runs deep. I smile at the thought that someday, your little one will be 30 years old, and you will still grind your teett upon learning that they are ever frustrated, discouraged, or irritated.
As your friend, however, I hold my breath with you, and stomp my feet when things don't make sense, and I am impatient and nervous and optimistic and excited. I am so glad you are sharing this.
Gnightgirl certainly has me pegged. I do feel sad that things are not going as quickly or smoothly for my child as they should. But much of my sadness is selfish. When I first learned that I would be a grandma I understood that he would be about five months old...still lots of cuddling time and cooing noises to love. Then I learned that he would be closer to 15 months old before I got to meet him...well still just learning to walk and say, "No." Now this weekend while reading the blogs from the families on their Gotcha Days I realize that your little one will be almost two before I get to hold him:( I am impatient with a system who has chosen to slow things down when speeding up is what is in the best interest of the kids. Like you Sarah I have many emotions, I guess that's where you got them. But my GREATEST emotion is the excited anticipation of seeing my baby with a baby of her own. Remember Dad and I signed up on the five year plan fifteen years ago:)
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