Okay I admit that I'm keeping score, but seems we're living in a whole new world of adoption as compared to last year...
- 2011 = record dry spell on referrals was 48 days
- 2012 = matched last year’s dry spell as of no referrals yesterday
- 2011 = 8 referrals by March 16
- 2012 = 1 referral as of March 20
So here's what I've heard as far as speculation through the online forums and groups I'm in...
Korean agencies are decreasing referrals by 30-40% this year so they can better match up with Exit Permits given in 2013. A decrease in referrals has been confirmed by US agencies but the percentage waives based on who you speak with. This decrease does make sense, yet that would still mean our agency should receive 14-17 referrals during 2012 which would be a little over 1 per month. Seems we'll have some catching up to do once they start up again.
Korean agencies are holding referrals so wait times can decrease between referral and travel. Thank you for considering our long waits to bring our kiddos home. However, this leads me to a couple other questions and the unknowns of how this is being carried out if indeed true.
- If they wait and refer kiddos closer to travel date will they be older at referral? This would mean we as parents miss out on updates, they miss out on care packages, and we all miss out on much needed time to build bonds during this wait. As well they will miss precious time to acclimate to learning their ‘American’ given name.
- If they wait and refer kiddos closer to travel date and they stick with the 5 month age, then were do all the kiddos go that fall into this gap during the hold on referrals? Orphanages? Well that doesn’t sound like a good alternative to loving families waiting right now.
Probably one of the biggest unforeseen things I've encountered in this whole journey so far is the lack of communications between US and Korean agencies. I was not prepared for this and wonder why, why, why is there not a better relationship built between the agencies that has trust as a cornerstone? Why must we beat around the bush rather then ask the tough questions and be prepared for the tough answers?
From what I understand after speaking with our Social Worker this week is that we (US agencies) don't want to ask the questions so as not to offend and place Korean agencies in an uncomfortable situation. She also said if we do broach a subject and ask a question, they (Korean agencies) often times say what they think we want to hear or just don't answer if they think it's not what we want to hear. Some real interesting cultural dynamics going on here even after 27+ years of working together on international adoption.
As I write this, there has been no movement in referrals across all agencies so we are all in the same boat of the unknown. We are anxious to receive a referral and become parents to a beautiful baby boy. However, if Korean agencies wish to hold referrals, please just tell us and we'll continue to wait with peace of mind.
When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective. S Covey
How frustrating; it does seem odd that there's still such a communication gap; it's amazing to me how we dance around protocol so much, in an era in which we can get online and establish relationships with anyone in the world at any given moment.
ReplyDeleteHope those lines open up soon, my friends, so at least you'll know what to expect.